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Comedian Victor Borge's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Comedian Victor Borge

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[15 Feb 2009|12:31am]
[ mood | discontent ]

well, this night is not going to go well.

I hate Sundays. anything between 11:59 on Saturday and 12:01 on Monday is ASS

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I am stealing things from Erica [16 Dec 2008|09:43pm]
I refuse to tag people though...

What are your nicknames?
I don't really have any nicknames. Becky is a nickname. I don't like to be called Rebecca.

How do you style your hair?
Wash, dry, and brush. Or just wash. I'm okay with looking like a homeless.

What's the last book you read?
Shiiiit, it's been so long since I've finished a book, but I'm kind of looking through The City of Ladies right now.

What colour shirt are you wearing now?
White. (my flecktones shirt)

Are you an introvert or extrovert?
I'm a neurotovert.

Do you nap a lot?

Who was the last person you hugged?
My husbeard.

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
House! Hugh Laurie could bedside snipe me any time.

What was the last thing you ate today?
Piece of Aaron's birthday cake.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
So long that I don't ever have to go places in the morning anymore.

What websites do you visit daily?
Ravelry, Snopes, facebook-ish.

What's the last movie you watched? Either in the cinema or at home.
Spaceballs! Then we watched The Bad Seed.

What time is your usual bedtime?
When I drop, which is anywhere from 6PM to 3AM or later.

What cell phone model do you own?
Razr v3m in pink. Funny story how that came about...I was a Cricket user, and the night I paid my bill once, my phone (Kyocera KX9E) stopped working because it was a piece of shit. I bought a Starcom CDM7026 for way too much money, and it was stolen 5 days later. I called them to report it stolen and they were assholes about it, so I decided to throw about canceling with them completely to see if I could get a retention offer. No, they wouldn't even credit me the unused portion of my bill. So, just for the hell of it I went to the Verizon webpage, thinking "there is no way in hell I have good enough credit to get a real phone," so I put the $9.99 pink razr in my basket...and it worked. No deposit or anything. So of course I lost my job the next day.

What is your favourite weather?
I like fall.

What's your dream career?
Triumph the insult comic dog.

How are you?
Bored, craving Big K Diet Cola with Lime. A secret smoke wouldn't hurt.

what do you want for christmas?
More super bulky yarn, regardless of content.
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[20 Nov 2008|12:58am]

this is timer. is she not the most adorable surprise kitten ever?
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[01 Nov 2008|02:24am]
[ mood | hot...like burning ]

The full story is posted on the bloggerspot, but, in this season of celebrations and really hot peppers, I feel it's my duty to post this.

Ladies, do not let him touch you if he was just chopping a habanero with that hand. I am fucking serious about that one.

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why it's okay to do years-old stupid forwards--sometimes: [11 Oct 2008|03:46am]
because you get cool results like this.

first, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random and the title of that page is the name of your band.
then go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 and the last four words of the last quote on the page is the title of your first album.
last go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ and pick the third picture as the c0ver art of your first album.

I had to hit the random button a lot because I kept getting real bands - the melvins, INXS, vintage wolf, television...wtf, any other time I'd just get stubs about rocks and jesus.

german cargo is my band. our first album is "writing columns for newspapers." cover art is an extra step i don't want to take, but it's a plush doll.

and then...because senseless pairings never get old, i kept doing it.
sniffex: pleasures pleasant, shorten them.
brady bacon: chaos is an impossibility.
willigness to pay: wife under a pedestal
1463: hang the little ones
repeal of prohibition: like poisoning a monk. [i think this one could exist.]
Caecilia bokermanni: is paved with adverbs
west nova: do so for them
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[24 Sep 2008|04:50pm]
[ mood | devious ]

aaron is playing lute and i think it's hot.

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Success! [16 Sep 2008|03:01pm]
[ mood | still gonna kill the cat... ]

So, as a magician and Ignorer of Grain Lines, I have made 6 yards work for the long sleeved robe. I wish it were blue or green flannel instead of white kona cotton, but if I like it, I'll just have to make it again :)

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[16 Sep 2008|01:53pm]
[ mood | cry all day ]

Why has September 16, 2008 been a shit day?

-Looming financial crisis. WTF. seriously.
-4.22 for a gallon of gas because v-power was all that the station had left (which they were also about out of). and people were grateful to get it, goddamnit. and by grateful I mean clogging the fucking throughways of the station so they could be 6" closer to the pump like that's even going to help you assholes.
-Walmart is still closed. I have a gift card for there and we need milk.
-(this is a selfish one, but I'm still counting it) I need fabric. I could get enough fabric for what I want to do with that gift card and still have enough left over for milk. I want to make Butterick 5152 and don't have 7 yards of 45" on hand to make the long sleeved one. I have 6 yards of really nice solid white 45" and that would make the short-sleeved one, but I WANT LONG SLEEVES FOR FUCK'S SAKE. er, tangent over.
-Nobody else I know has power yet.
-My fucking favorite band had to go and disband, did I mention that? :'( Ah well, I still love them.
-Also, I cannot seem to get the cat to quit surreptitiously peeing on the bed. WHAT THE HELL. Her litterbox is consistently clean and unobstructed, but she chooses to pee on the bed. Bitch got problems.
-We're out of sheets, on that note. I would feel so much better if I could make the bed in a matching set, but NO, I can't, because the nice matching set we had GOT RUINED...
-Dishes are piling up. Zoloft?
-Nothing to bake. Zoloft?

Plus, Aaron's at CCM until 6 or so. I'm alone with the cat. This could spell disaster for the little bitch.

I'm gonna go back to bed I think.

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[12 Sep 2008|06:43am]
[ mood | anxious ]

If I'm not mistaken, I'm 24 today.

Anyway. I would just like to sell my cat. Wednesday we went back to Dayton so I could see my old doctor, and fucking kitty got mad or whatever and pissed two giant shapes onto the bed. It went through our allegedly Teflon mattress pad and so when I got home and was really tired I had to spend a half hour scrubbing the bed with a sponge to get the pee out. So yesterday we decided to go to the laundromat because she also threw up on our last sheet and all of the blankets. Somehow, instead of washing out the urine, it got baked into the sheet, and the mattress pad (which we've washed and dried once before with no problem) fucking MELTED. It was a good one, too. We got it on sale for $20, but the original price was $90something. Fucking 400 thread count top. And the sheets were a wedding gift in one of my most favorite colors (a minty blue green) and they matched these throw pillows I made from a home dec remnant a couple years ago. Not to mention they were a goddamn nice, very soft, not rough set of sheets that I will never have back because the very important part of it got piss baked into it. God forbid I ever have a coordinating bedroom for once in my life...


Also, I got nothing done on my novel yesterday. I got up incredibly early just ready to meet the day and crapped out again by 8, woke up at 1 with the intention of working on it, took Aaron to some job meeting, went to half price books and suddenly got a pounding, brain-eating headache, so I kind of screwed around at home until he called me to pick him up, then we spent forever in the laundromat ruining our sheets, came home with same headache, and went to bed shortly thereafter. This Cymbalta seems to be bumming me out after a very brief and intense high. Two days in a row now I've gotten up before light feeling like my skin is on fire to do things, and then I just get tired right away and don't do anything productive for the rest of the day.

And did I mention that the ignition switch on my car decided to fuck up Wednesday while we were in Dayton? I had to drive the damn thing all the way back just praying it wouldn't stop while we were in a construction zone on 75. (which, by the way, is about 90% of relevant 75. for fuck's sake, what are they even doing? is it just entertaining to bottleneck the traffic for a few months/years?)

I have to go do some survey at Michael's this morning. Then I have to go see stupid Beth. And then go back to Dayton for various burthday events. That's actually going to be cool. I just don't want to talk to stupid Beth.

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[11 Sep 2008|07:04am]
[ mood | jubilant ]

By the way, don't anybody take Cymbalta at 12:30AM. You'll be up by 6 feeling like you've been shot out of a pleasant mood cannon, and you'll want to talk a lot.

So yeah, went back to my old doctor yesterday, who has suddenly become no less than a saint. She validated the whole "don't have a sucky therapist" idea and prescribed the Cymbalta and more Klonopin so I can stop being so miserable and keyed up on a daily basis. Sadly, I'm no longer entitled to in-county rates (which means 100% s-s-s-self pay, dammit) but if I can wake up feeling good after fewer than 10 hours of sleep, it's worth it. Actually, even if I do fall asleep for 10 hours, chances are I'll wake up feeling good. It's not going to get rid of my horrible sleep apnea or anything, but, what the fuck! I'm in a good mood!

Oh yeah and, I know I'm technically not supposed to do this (it's in the rules), but this is the beginning of my "novel"...err...50,000 word document. The whole work is actually so bad that just these first few paragraphs explain the whole thing, because it's pretty awful.

paragraphs 1, 2, and 3...not necessarily in that orderCollapse )

I'll keep posting oddly-cropped excerpts until I run out of steam. Until then, everyone suffers.

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[03 Sep 2008|12:33pm]
My new therapist-type figure is pretty underwhelming so far. It took 3 tries for "I couldn't afford to get the Seroquel prescription filled" to convert into "I didn't take it" for her. Nice lady, not such a good listener.
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[14 Aug 2008|06:51pm]
Okay, married now. AWESOME. Prairie Home Companion was the only good part of 3 days in West Virginia, but damn, it was worth it.

I live somewhere now! Cincinnati!
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[07 Apr 2008|09:13pm]
[ mood | Thrilled! ]

What could be more awesome than a Prairie Home Companion honeymoon?


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guess what this is ;) [30 Mar 2008|04:34pm]
[ mood | engaged ]

the engagement ring

i'm getting maaaaarried ;D

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[29 Jan 2008|01:32am]
fact: david byrne is the shit, actually.
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[21 Jan 2008|12:36am]
[ mood | fuckin' done ]

i just finished maynard & jennica. i can't really attest to the ending being satisfying, but i enjoyed that the book wasn't really even designed to be satisfying. well, it was, but it was not designed to give closure.

plus, it makes a great case for certain types of people being unintentional fuckwits. which i love. it is always good to prove the fuckwittedness of enviable people.

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this is for the douchebag who stole my phone: [16 Jan 2008|05:53pm]
[ mood | optimistic ]

hey, asshole. i hope you're enjoying my phone, the one i bought last friday with most of my paycheck. i'm glad you got it, in a way. you ended my relationship with cricket, thus allowing me to purchase a sweet-ass-awesome pink razr. and i did, for only $10. now, instead of an area-wide plan that costs me a lot more, i have a nationwide plan that costs me a lot less. i will have to count my minutes, but who gives a shit? i have a pink razr and you don't. all you have is my stupid old-ass cricket phone with its suspended service and mostly dead battery. which you can't even charge. and i hope that when you try to sell it, your ass gets caught. also, i hope you are a high school student and you get in trouble with your parents and your daddy beats you during the weekend visit.

how's that for a half-full glass?

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[05 Jan 2008|11:40pm]
the spoon theory (look it up on butyoudontlooksick.com) is not a theory. at best, it's a postulation.
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[17 Dec 2007|02:17pm]
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

btw, happy fucking birthday, ugly ;)

sorry i'm a day late.
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[28 Nov 2007|11:44pm]
so, i've been sewing a lot lately.

big picturesCollapse )
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